Wow. So I am still reeling from the news of a baby in need of adoptive parents. For 3 years I prayed and waited on the Lord to provide a child, and when He didn't I finally decided to lay it down and pursue another direction in my life. And then poof!
I always thought I would be so excited and happy that I would transform into a perfect believer and follower of Christ. It sounds crazy, but I honestly thought it would happen just like that. While I am incredibly over-joyed at the blessing the Lord has given me, I have been far from perfect since we found out about the baby.
I know the time of the month has a lot to do with it, but I feel really bad that I haven't spent more time in the Word, more time in prayer, more time with Him, thanking Him for everything He has blessed us with! There is no excuse, and I am really bothered by my selfish, fleshly actions at a time like this.
I have all the faith in Him that our adoption will go smoothly, and that this child is meant for us. I know it in my heart this is our child that God created for me and Robert to be the parents of. I love him or her so much already. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I pray I come out of my funk soon so I don't disappoint God anymore.
Father, it is only by Your grace that I am saved. Thank You for Your unconditional love that covers my sin. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment