Lead me from Tempation

Lord God, Please give me the wisdom to recognize temptations. Help me to run away as fast and as far as possible from the things that tempt me. And when I run, let me run to You. Amen.

So, small update on the adoption: met with the lawyer on Monday and that went really well. I like her a lot and I am excited about having her help with this situation. Birth mom is still MIA, and communication with the family is non-existent right now. This is a huge leap of faith, because at any moment this whole thing could unravel. But I have a deep sense of peace and calm, which only comes from the Lord and I know in my heart, one way or another we will have a child.

Still, I am concerned about my lack of energy and enthusiasm. Sure, I'm dealing with a terrible cold right now and feel like I've been run over by a truck, but I mean even before that. Since we found out about the adoption I have been a little sad. I think it's because of my inability to get pregnant. I love adoption, and Robert and I were interested in adopting before we even knew we would have fertility issues. Still, it just makes me sad that I can't get pregnant.

I am starting Clomid this cycle, and while I am positive that I'm not pregnant, my period is still hesitating to start, and normally I just guess what the first day is, but I really need to be sure and choose accurately because of the medication. On the other hand, starting a day early may help everything to progress, because research shows that the earlier Clomid is taken in a cycle, the better the effect. So, we'll see.

My house is a mess, which lets me know something is wrong with me internally. I am still going back and forth about returning to school. My life is back to being topsy turvy with no clear direction. It's like I'm holding my breath for the next 3 months to see if I'm going to have a baby nor not. I can't afford to lose 3 months on my original plan, but if I continue as if we don't have children, and then poof here's a baby- well, I need to be prepared for that too. God help me, please.

Please pray for me. I need it.

God Bless,

Lynette